War Against Lemons

How often does this happen to you when you go out to a restaurant?

Let me elaborate. How many of you order a glass of water at restaurants only to have it come to your table with a piece of lemon stuck to the side of the glass? I'm sure this happens 3 out of 4 times when you order water. Yes, I could very well say "Water, no lemon" (and I do sometimes), but really, why should I have to specify "No Lemon"? If I order water, that is what I want...water. It's that simple. And if you want to put ice in it, that's fine because it's still just water.

Here are my top 3, very valid reasons for not wanting a server to just assume I want lemon and put it on my glass.

1. With lemons come the chance for seeds and with seeds come the chance for choking. More often than not, I'll take a sip of water that's had the yellow atrocity stuck to the side of the glass only to be coughing when one of its seeds invades my throat. I really don't want a glass of water with a side of Heimlich maneuver.

2. Lemon wedges are teeming with germs. I'm not making this up. A quick internet search gave me this quote:

Two-thirds of the lemon slices [tested] had bacteria on either the rind or the pulp (Journal of Environmental Health, Dec., 2007).

Think about it, lemons are sliced and then left in a container exposed to the open air and whatever pathogens may be floating around. I really don't need to have dinner with a side of E. coli.

3. I don't like someone making assumptions and adding something to my order. I mean, I've never ordered a steak and had the chef just include a slice of country ham with it. So, why would you assume that if I order water, I want fruit in it?

By the way, the same thing goes for beer. Although I can't really stand Blue Moon or Corona, if I ever order it, please don't assume I want fruit floating in it. I don't understand when this need to garnish with fruit started. You don't have to put a lime wedge on a margarita glass for me to know it's lime flavored.

Basically, if you feel the urge to put a piece of citrus in my water, just ask me. You know what they say about assumptions.